By: Chet Dungweeder
WCNN - Reporter

September 8, 2014

SEATTLE - In a bizarre twist, the city, county, and state governments have lifted all bans of use of Puget Sound and Pacific Ocean waters in and around the state.  Not only that, they have completely denied ever saying there was a Giant Sea Leech problem to begin with.

Summary of first story, first published on August 26th, 2014:

 - "NOAA has issued a warning to all sea-goers to stay away and out of the water due to a substantial explosion in the, once rare, Giant Sea Leech populations."


- "The Giant Sea Leech was once an endangered, feared extinct, creature that crawled along the murky floors of the Puget Sound, and Northern Pacific."


- "NOAA has not yet confirmed any deaths or injuries as a result of Giant Sea Leaches, but there are several mysterious disappearances that are being tentatively pinned on the Giant Sea Leech."


- Grey's Harbor County, Island County, Clallam County, Kitsap, Mason, and Pacific Counties have all issued a "Closed Water Act" banning the use of marinas and boats, as well as the launching, living, or maintenance of boats, with an added addendum that no one can swim, fish, or use trails/parks near seawater.


UPDATE:


New details have now surfaced behind this apparently false Giant Sea Leech "epidemic", and the information is disturbing.  According to credible sources within NOAA, local governments, and PeTA have confirmed that the reason for the water closures was because of PeTA dumping corpses into the ocean.

PeTA, one of the largest and well known animal protection groups, is now facing public outrage over leaked documents listing that the group falsified documents that prompted local and county governments to close water - this left unobstructed access to the water to dump euthanize animals.

PeTA has been a long standing leader in the animal death business and it is not unusual to have PeTA associated with animal cruelty charges.  Tired of local pressure PeTA engaged in a year-long scheme to clear the waters in the hope that the current would take away the sad truth of what PeTA actually does.

PeTA is being indited on several levels assuring the public that a long line of criminal lawsuits are on their way for the organization. 

 

By: Chet Dungweeder
WCNN - Reporter

August 27, 2014

We have all heard of the bridge to nowhere project that wasted tons of taxpayer money to build a bridge to a remote island in Alaska. Well Governor Jay Inslee has decided to do the opposite of this idea with his "trains to everywhere program."  Currently taxpayers are funding a train to SeaTac airport that will house at least 4 passages per month thus saving at least one car from being locked in traffic on the interstate. 

The train project is already years behind schedule and millions over budget which has provided jobs for dozens of workers napping and fornicating on the job site waiting for resolution to continue work.  Given this massive job opportunity for a select group of people - Inslee has decided to build these trains not just to SeaTac but to everywhere.  Imagine how great it will be waiting for your train to show up to go anywhere you want.  Instead of popping in your car and going wherever you want to go you can buy an overpriced ticket, check times, get to the train early and wait.  Then six to nine hours later you will be at your destination.

Trains to everywhere will include trains to Omak, a tree in the woods, the top of Mt Rainier, through the ape caves in Oregon and weaved throughout the middle of every town in Washington.  Since everyone either doesn't have kids or hates their kids, Inslee plans on funding this by making future generations pay for it.  Inslee went on to say, "We should fund all projects this way - I certainly hate my kids."