Homo-Naledi found in S. Africa
Rising Star Cave, South Africa (WCNN) When an amateur caver and university geologist arrived at Lee Berger's house one night in late 2013 with a fragment of a fossil jawbone in hand, they broke out the beers and called National Geographic.
Berger, a professor at the University of the Witwatersrand in Johannesburg, South Africa, had unearthed some major finds before. But he knew he had something big on his hands.
DNA SAMPLING DATA:
DNA samples taken from Kim Kardiashian have shown a 85% intellectual match with Homo-Naledi. Several indications in Homo-Naledi's DNA suggest older humans are much like the attention craving celebrities of today. Several genomes mapped in Homo-Naledi match perfectly with the 'only care about myself' gene and 'massive slut' gene that also map positive in Kim.
DNA Analysis on file from the First Lady shows a 97% facial structure match and a 67% penial match with Homo Naledi. With the DNA of Michelle showing a 24% larger penis than that of Homo Naledi. The arm structure of Homo-Naledi was also found to be slightly less muscular than the DNA sample shows us for 'Mrs'. Obama.
Danny DeVito's on file DNA suggests that he also has very similar characteristics to that of Homo-Naledi. The 'short crazy lunatic' gene that is prevalent in DeVito is also very prevalent in Homo-Naledi. This suggests the reason for finding Homo-Naledi deeply jammed into a cave. Perhaps too much feces throwing for this early human ended in him being jammed down a cave hole.