Obama unleashes his new tough plan to take care of ISIL
August 26, 2014
Obama announced today he will be unleashing a new plan to take care of the ongoing issues with ISIL. He is currently working on fabricating thousands of 'reset buttons' for each of the ISIL agents to press. He plans on dropping a 'bomb of reset buttons' above the entire state of Iraq.
Each of the reset buttons will have a cute little note on the back saying, "Sorry about the wars there for years press this and we won't kill you anymore :)". The White House thinks this will allow everyone to start fresh in the state of Iraq that has been at odds with the West for decades.
The tricky part about his plan is each of the 'reset buttons' will just be a big pile of Ebola that will squirt out onto the ISIL agents. Some of the reset buttons will also include thousands of African bees that will fly out and sting everyone who presses it.
The Administration is not at all worried about publicly announcing their new plan given the US just hit the only computer that has internet in Iraq during another air strike.
Given the complete lack of any sort of health care in Iraq the Administration assumes the Ebola will wipe out most of Iraq in a couple of weeks.