F____, here we go again....
WCNN - Reporter
August 8, 2014

Dialing the spotting scope up a level she noticed the swerving vehicles were not driven by drunken Eskimos but rather drunken Russians! She counted at least seven jeeps smashing over animals while the drivers guzzled down vodka.
Sarah quickly popped down from her rooftop and phoned Mitt Romney to inform him he was correct on assuming Russia still to be a threat dispite Obama telling Romney the 80s called to get their foreign policy back much like a teenage girl.
Romney was quick to act and called the bishop of the Mormon church to and told them the blacks were invading Russia. Since all Mormons think blacks are the punished race by God the Moron bishop quickly went to the survival cave in Utah and boarded the 'apocochopter' and flew directly up to the Russian invasion.
Several bombs later all Russians killed and Sarah slept happily in her cabin after a warm cup of cocoa.