The Pope has Made a Shocking Announcement - 'All Horses are Evil and Should be Killed'
September 15, 2014
VATICAN - Pope Francis announced this morning that, "All horses around the globe are not only evil but also the root cause of terrorism."
Pope Gregory IX (1157-1241) had a similar declaration around the time of the Black Plague. Pope Gregory IX declared all cats to be evil and had them all killed off. This actually in part contributed to the spreading of the Black Plague as rats were large carriers of the disease and the lack of cats in the area caused an explosion of the rat population.
Pope Francis has outlined the following reasons why horses are to be considered evil:
1) Every terrorist organization around the globe transports at least in part on horseback.
2) The national sport of Afghanistan (which is the birth place of Al-Qaeda) is a sport played entirely on horseback.
3) Horses are terrible.
4) Every male that rides a horse at any point becomes gay. Gays in turn want to kill everyone for making fun of them. Gays then strap bombs to themselves and become terrorists.
5) Horses have no morals and are indiscriminate rapists. They have killed at least one adult this year in Enumclaw, WA and countless others have been raped and killed by horses around the world.
6) Horses have long faces, indicating they have a long past of being murderers and rapists.
7) Horses genitalia is larger than that of Pope Francis.
8) There is a worldwide glue shortage so we need to turn all horses into glue.
9) Horses come in various colors. Catholics on the other hand are only one color (pale white). So horses promote diversity therefore insult the Catholic Church.
10) Try and ride one or look at one and tell me they are not evil.