Early this Morning Snooki Gave Birth to a Beautiful Baby Girl
September 26, 2014
JERSEY SHORE - Early this morning Jersey Shore Star Snooki gave birth to a baby girl named, "B-Jizzy". She had to give birth outside of a hospital as she has been banned from every hospital in the area for disorderly conduct. She went to her usual back alley abortion clinic and told her 'doctor' that she didn't want to abort this one. Her doctor is typically used to aborting 5-10 Snooki babies per month and said, "Okay I can try but I am used to just smashing and chucking - this will be a bit trickier."
They found a nice dumpster to clean out and carefully placed Snooki inside. After a few long hours of labor she gave birth to the six pound four ounce little girl. The doctor instinctually threw the baby but luckily The Situation was there to catch the baby as it flew outside of the dumpster.
The father of the baby is narrowed down to a list of 127 (from the original list of 725). Snooki is excited she may learn who the father is in the coming months. With the baby now born they can do DNA tests and see who the father(s) is / are.