Putin flys into his next invasion target
August 29, 2014
MOSCOW RUSSIA - Rumors are literally flying around about Vladimir's latest plan for conquest. The Russian President was spotted flying near the border of Mongolia and Russian, later this photo was taken by a Mongolian farmer and turned over to the UN.
Vladimir had this to say to the Mongolia farmer taking his picture, "Don't tell anyone but I am going to invade Mongolia. I mean why not who the f--- is going to stop me? The UN? I do what I please. Also - sick of fighting wars where I have to deal with modern weapons. Time to take over somewhere easy just for funzies. By the time you and your horse get back to somewhere to tell someone Russian troops will already be invading."
Mongolian President Tsakhiagiin Elbegdorj has begun massing his troops near the area Putin was spotting flying around earlier this week. He issued the following statement, "Although we may not have the most modern of fighting equipment we will certainly put Putin and his troops at bay."
The UN director, Ronny Pushover, flew to the Moscow International Airport and caught up to Putin near the runway to try and discuss this with him before he exited his plane.
Ronny asked, "Why did you fly into Mongolia and tell a farmer that you are planning on invading Mongolia?"
Putin responded saying, "Wasn't me - that's not my picture."
Ronny responded, "Yes it certainly is you - you are literally sitting in the same plane now as we speak."
Putin replied, "Nope this is my new car."
Ronny rebutted, "That's not a car."
Putin then fired his plane back up and flew away from the conversation.
The Russian Government has issued the following statement about the situation in Mongolia, "Nope not us - shut up - your faces are being invading by penises and that's the only invasion Russia knows about."
The UN plans on defriending Russia from Facebook and tweeting that, "Russia is a bunch of meanieheads" to stop Russia from invading Mongolia.