Chinese strained muscle cases were up 200% since June 1976 so the government has mandated that stretches are required each day
By: Sum Ting Wong Chin Tu Fat
WCNN - China Corespondent
August 8, 2014
WCNN - China Corespondent
August 8, 2014
Chinese stretching per orders by the PCR SHANGHAI, PCR - The People's Republic of China has mandated that every citizen, regardless of age or gender must preform a series of stretches each and every day.
China has been plagued by a sharp increase in strained muscle cases and it has costed millions in state-funded healthcare.
Most of the cases appear to be from women between the ages of 15-35 due to China's policy of treating women like tools and/or objects. Women are often required to carry their husbands around for anything from daily errands, commuting to and from work, and cross-country vacations. Women are also required to do much of the manual labor in the work place as well.
An example to help frame this in:
In America, most of the manual labor, underpaid jobs and anything else most American's are "too good for" are given to Mexicans. In China, there is no shortage of people, so immigrants are provided no quarter, leaving only the women. Mexicans in America = women in China.
China's government said there was no intent or need to change the social dynamic between men and women. Men were please around the country. It is illegal, and punishable by death, for a women to disagree with a man in China, so naturally women were just as ecstatic as their male counterparts.
China has been plagued by a sharp increase in strained muscle cases and it has costed millions in state-funded healthcare.
Most of the cases appear to be from women between the ages of 15-35 due to China's policy of treating women like tools and/or objects. Women are often required to carry their husbands around for anything from daily errands, commuting to and from work, and cross-country vacations. Women are also required to do much of the manual labor in the work place as well.
An example to help frame this in:
In America, most of the manual labor, underpaid jobs and anything else most American's are "too good for" are given to Mexicans. In China, there is no shortage of people, so immigrants are provided no quarter, leaving only the women. Mexicans in America = women in China.
China's government said there was no intent or need to change the social dynamic between men and women. Men were please around the country. It is illegal, and punishable by death, for a women to disagree with a man in China, so naturally women were just as ecstatic as their male counterparts.
Typical work day for women in China Kshama Sawant of Seattle's city council wrote a letter to the PCR and proclaimed protests around Seattle if China did not change their laws towards women. Chinese diplomats were said to be laughing so hard they couldn't breath. Medical units were rushed to the aid of one parliamentarian secretary who unfortunately died due to the inability to stop laughing. His lungs were expired of air and he was unable to breath from laughing so hard.
China sent a letter to Secretary of Defense John Kerry threatening to launch missiles aimed for the west coast of America. Kerry released a statement condemning the actions of Councilwomen Sawant and called for her immediate removal from city council and recommended that she be sent to Guantanamo Bay Detention Center for further interrogation.
"The United States government does not tolerate threats that endanger the people of our proud nation. Mrs. Sawant's actions are highly unacceptable and they have led to an international conflict." Kerry said in a statement from the White House this morning.
Sawant released the following in response; "I have every right to stand up for Socialist views and I can beat as many pots as I want and no one can stop me!" She went on to say "I plan on on creating a task force to invade and rescue all of the women from China and bring them to Washington."
Her plans went too far this time and she was apprehended by a joint force of FBI and CIA agents at her home in Queen Anne, a suburb of Seattle.
Even if her plan were to come to fruition, it would have complicated recent legislation passed in Washington state allocating all national forest lands to Mexican immigrants read the full story here.
China sent a letter to Secretary of Defense John Kerry threatening to launch missiles aimed for the west coast of America. Kerry released a statement condemning the actions of Councilwomen Sawant and called for her immediate removal from city council and recommended that she be sent to Guantanamo Bay Detention Center for further interrogation.
"The United States government does not tolerate threats that endanger the people of our proud nation. Mrs. Sawant's actions are highly unacceptable and they have led to an international conflict." Kerry said in a statement from the White House this morning.
Sawant released the following in response; "I have every right to stand up for Socialist views and I can beat as many pots as I want and no one can stop me!" She went on to say "I plan on on creating a task force to invade and rescue all of the women from China and bring them to Washington."
Her plans went too far this time and she was apprehended by a joint force of FBI and CIA agents at her home in Queen Anne, a suburb of Seattle.
Even if her plan were to come to fruition, it would have complicated recent legislation passed in Washington state allocating all national forest lands to Mexican immigrants read the full story here.
| Tensions increased this afternoon when a private conversation of President Obama was leaked to the press. Most of the conversation is too explicit to list as part of our story, but the one statement we can release said | 
A man commuting to work on the back of his woman.
|
"[the PCR] are a bunch of slave driving mother-f_____s and those b_____s need to recognize that I can nuke their mother-f_____s with the push of my mother-f_____ing little finger!" it went on to say "would someone please get that stupid Indian b___h in Seattle down to Guantanamo - for f__k sake - I'm the mother-f____ing President of the United States of America!"
China was appalled at the statements and US spy satellites detected militarized movement along China's east coast.
As usual, Kim Jong Un released some statement about destroying America, but their inability to do anything that works has proved their insults meaningless and most of the world ignores them.
China was appalled at the statements and US spy satellites detected militarized movement along China's east coast.
As usual, Kim Jong Un released some statement about destroying America, but their inability to do anything that works has proved their insults meaningless and most of the world ignores them.
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