After weeks of vacationing - Obama does something over the weekend
August 25, 2014
Tensions between North Korea and the US have been high over the last few years. Obama decided to stop the cold shoulder routine and do something similar to the 'reset button' like Hilary did with Russia and sit down to discuss with Kim since it worked so well with Russia. Here is how the discussion unfolded:
Obama: It is... Uh... Nice to....um talk...with North....um....Koreans for the first time....uhh...in a long time.
Kim Jung Un: Yes, yes - you finarry listen.
Obama: It is certainly...uh...about time...uh....we talked.
Obama: I mainly wanted to discuss how to be a better dictator with....uh...um...you.
Kim: Good. I am very super good at this.
Obama: Well I am not so good. Getting better but could use some tips.
Kim: First thing is first - why you allow them own guns. Don't you know they use those against tyrannical governments? Don't you want compwete control?
Obama: uh....I....uh...am....uh....working....um....on....that....I have staged several...uh....school...uh...shootings to help us steal....uh...guns...uh...from everyone.
Kim: Good - that's how we did it too decades ago - good thought prwocess. I am sure you banned guns in some areas to give a good place for mass shootings to happen?
Obama: Of course.
Kim: Okay good start - what other tips you need?
Obama: Alot of the country doesn't do what I tell them to do.
Kim: Well tell then your a God.
Obama: They already think that. And I have a good set up where if someone opposes my tyrannical ways me and the media label them as racist.
Kim: Ahh - good idea.
Obama: Yes works well. Me and my fellow...uh...politicians also take money from people who work and give it to complete utter retards so they continue to vote for us. Right now we have almost 50% of America taking money from other Americans so they will always vote for us.
Kim: Vewy smart. Good dictator skills.
Obama: Yes we always try to perfect it. Our goal is to keep most of America dumb and poor enough to think they can never do anything for themselves. They can only take from us, by in which I of course mean other people who work, and continue to vote for us.
Kim: Good that's how we started it too.
Obama: So how do I get everyone to listen to me and stop doing their own things.
Kim: Well don't let them vote or have other opinions - just override what everyone wants with your own ideas.
Obama: On it - I already abuse the shit out of my uh....um...uh...power.
Kim: Good work. It sounds like you are already almost North Korea right now.... What else you need frwom me?
Obama: Well...uh...the thing....uh...is....uh...the...um....racist....um.....well my hope....uh....the.....um....you see....the....um.
Kim: Jesus frucking Christ your dumb. Can you sray one frucking sentence without seventeen god damn ums in it? Did you even say anything? The American people re-elected your dumb ass - they must be frucking stupid!
Obama: I...uh don't like the insults - but your right Americans are dumb. Me and the rest of the democrats bank on that. That's how we get elected. Best part is we say this all the time but the people who vote for us are so poor and stupid they will continue to vote for us no matter how much we insult them.
Kim: I'm about sick of talking to you. Where the fruck is Dennis Rodman? That dude at least can speak a full frucking sentence and is slightly interesting. You frucking suck!
Kim: Fruck! Can someone shoot this fruck! If he srays um one more frucking time I will rip his god damn tongue out and wedge it up his ass!
Obama and his team then proceeded to leave the area. Many of the North Koreans began rubbing their fingers on the triggers of their guns and started pointing them at Obama. As they existed the room Kim screamed,"I can't wait to nuke the fruck out you - you half assed, retarded, wannabry dictator!"