WCNN - Reporter
August 11, 2014
Perplexed by this discovery scientists decided to start drinking at least twelve beers per day to see if they could prevent Alzheimer's from happening to themselves. The results were astonishing. Turns out memory points on the memory point chart are only for memories you give a shit about. Memories that and dumb like your kids and shit drop out of your brain on the twelve beer per day diet, making room for what counts. Memories that are excellent like you vomiting in a prostitutes face are amplified up to six memory medallions.
Scientists conclude that if your worried about quality memory and increasing memory pesos you need to start drinking more.