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Washington State Demands Indian Tribes to Change Some Names

9/16/2014

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As Washington State becomes more and more politically correct, residents are becoming offended by river names, tribe names, and any other exposure to a select group of tribes.

By Brent Bartlett Jr. III
WCNN - Washington State Corespondent

September 16, 2014
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SEATTLE - A coalition of activist groups in Washington State have banded together in an effort to change names of potentially offensive Native American tribal words and landmarks named using potentially offensive Native American names.

They have achieved a small victory - their draft of new legislation has been added to the legislative calendar.

This movement has been relatively quiet throughout the state, and the groups have done an excellent job of securing influential supporters while keeping the topic off the headlines.  This positioned the groups to have a clear, uninfluenced path to state legislators.  National rights groups and national Native American coalitions are just now reading the proposed bill for the first time now that it has been added to the upcoming schedule.  

"We are super offended driving through the state.  We have our kids wear blindfolds on road trips so we can hide them from the terrible names listed along the road." Said Megan Swapish, spokesperson for Washington Against Offensive Culture (WAOC), the group behind the proposed bill.  "We are forced to drive past signs like 'Nooksack' and 'Humptulips'.  It's flat wrong that we have to put images of humping flowers in our children mind simply because some Indians like those names."
 

List of tribes impacted by new bill:
- Hoh Tribe
- Jamestown S'klallam
- Nooksack Tribe
- Squaxin Tribe 

Tribal name changes- Rivers:
- Humptulips River
- Nooksack River
- Chilliwack River
- Pilchuck River
- Duckabush River
- Pysht River
- Dickey River
- Queets River
- Solleks River
- Newaukum River
- Bone River
- Chumstick Creek
- Ashnola River


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"We are deeply offended that this kind of thing or whatever it is we are talking about would happen." Said Chief Squatting Gerbil, head of Indian Affairs at Indians Against the White Man (IAWM).  "We should probably not let this pass, and I think we have some people heading to Washington to make a paper something - like a flyer or something with a picture.  I don't check some memos all the time - hard to say what we are doing."

Indian tribes across the state are hoping that the support and funding from IAWM will spread the word and remove the bill from the state's docket.

Another group is also joining in on the action - Citizens Requesting Unilateral Support and Trust, also known as C.R.U.S.T..  This is a little known group dedicated at bridging gaps between citizens and government.  They are primarily focused on state and local government, and instantly jumped on the case with IAWM.

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"We want to see the state legislature objectively look at both sides of the argument, which right now, we aren't seeing." said Peggy Gumbelt of C.R.U.S.T..  C.R.U.S.T. has been working with many  tribes in high-population zones to see what the tribes could offer state representatives or to see if some compromise could be found.  "It's been a long road, and it has cost our organization precious funding dollars simply paying the bar bills at these meetings, but we continue to fight through it - we know we are on the right side of the situation." she added.

Representatives revealed some of their intents to WCNN as long as we agreed not to publish their names.  Of the 15 house representatives we spoke with, 10 of them are wanting the tribes to give them access to year-round fishing, tax shelters, and income from the federal government by officially inducting them into the tribe.  "I just want to loaf around, fish, and drink all day." said an anonymous Democratic representative.

It looks like there are secret motives behind the scenes.  After our report, we are confident that no tribal names will need to be changed.  Lastly - expect several special elections as the house dissolves into newly inducted beer-drinking tribal members.   

  

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Whites are Set to March Streets in Major Cities

8/29/2014

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Whites are set march among streets in major cities across the US

By: Brent Bartlett Jr. III
WCNN - Washington State Correspondent

August 29, 2014
SEATTLE - In the midst of more racial battles in Ferguson, MO and still hung-over from the Trevon Martin legal battle, it seemed like too much to hear yet another announcement of a racially spurred protest starting.  The interesting thing that not only caught the WCNN news team, but news teams around the world was that this time, demonstrations would be led by whites.

The last race most think of when you hear 'discrimination' is Caucasian, but new statistics and the impeccable ability for whites to communicate, organize and lead large amounts of people has afforded a quietly growing majority of whites to plan a march while all attention was directed at the black protests.

Bart Muddleter, the national organizer for Whites Against Nothing, released the following statement to WCNN:

Dear WCNN,

Whites across the country are standing up and planning a protest across America to show that we are sick of being discriminated against.  Whites are not discriminated against the same way as blacks or Hispanics, but we are discriminated against none the less.  It seems every time something goes wrong in America whites are blamed.  Whites are blamed for the crappy economy, most of the country's political problems, every time someone is shot or killed, and every time we go to war.  We are tired of being blamed for these problems simply because whites are, on average, more educated, more aggressive leaders, better communicators, and generally have higher personal goals.  We don't blame Asians every time our calculators break, so why blame whites every time a police officer does his job or every time anything in the country goes wrong.  Whites have been world leaders and have been great settlers and men of conquest for thousands of years.  Rather than hold slavery over the white-mans head, why don't blacks hold their tribal leaders who traded them for barrels of whisky accountable.

Bart Muddleter
Spokesman
WAN

The black community is so focused on the Ferguson shooting, that they have not paid any attention to this planned protest, and Hispanics cannot read English so they are none the wiser on the planned protests.  Americanized Hispanics consider themselves white, so they are not opposed to the protests, yet they were not invited to the rally.

In a general press-statement released to all other media agencies Muddleter said "We want America to wake up and realize that we need to stop making issues about race and we need to take issue with the problems in our races.  If blacks are always getting shot, look at why - maybe blacks should all stop dressing and acting like gangsters if they don't want to be treated like gangsters.  If Hispanics don't want to be made fun of or want better jobs - learn English."

Obviously, these statements go against the over-bearing "PC" (Politically Correct) nature in America today, but it is hard to argue with the logic.  Muddleter ended his press statement with an obvious, but clear statement: "Call a spade a spade.  If you act like a target you'll get shot at.  If you look like a horse, you'll be ridden like a horse." 
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