Every year between 43 and 84 cases of swimmers itch arise from the dirty ponds and lakes around the Pacific Northwest. We at WCNN like to not only report factual, hard hitting news stories but come up with ways to help our communities. Swimmers itch causes rashes and itches that we don't want any of our readers to endure. So we hit the streets in search of a cure.
Ally Samsonite, a resident of Lakewood Washington had this to say,"last year I got swimmers itch and itched my ass until it bled all over the place causing a mess in my apartment." Finding this gross as shit, we decided to interview someone else. We found another local who had suffered from swimmers itch and he had this to say,"I swam in American Lake last year for like ten seconds and my whole body was covered in a rash and I couldn't stop itching anything. I ran around naked, rolling through the asphalt, trying to get some relief with no luck at all." Finding this story more repulsive than the first story we decided to drop the issue.
In conclusion, it's fine to swim in questionable lakes as long as you don't tell anyone at WCNN the repercussions, because we certainly don't want to hear about it. Keep your sick stories to yourselves for the sake of Christ.