Ed Murray has the eyes of Seattle on him - some are happy eye, some are angry eyes, some eyes are looking at the hot dog cart
By: Brent Bartlett Jr. III
WCNN - Washington State Corespondent
August 7, 2014
WCNN - Washington State Corespondent
August 7, 2014
A fat foot in a flip flop. SEATTLE, WA - Mayor Ed Murray announced this morning, “with summer in full force we are seeing a lot more robust Seattle residents out in their summer attire”. Murray went on to say, “we have seen a sharp rise in vomit along the sidewalks and it appears to be directly linked to flip flops being worn by some Seattle residents.
The ban will effectively require a ‘closed toe’ shoe for all ‘fatties’ above the weight range of 300 pounds. Murray believes this will result in a reduction of clean up that ensues from passers-by glancing and at the fat bulging around the edges of the flip flops.
Some are coming out in opposition to the bill saying the local restaurants will suffer because so many will need to eat food to replenish all that was lost from the unsightly flip flop sighting. Murray remains firm the bill will remain in place for this summer and possibly following summers.
The ban will effectively require a ‘closed toe’ shoe for all ‘fatties’ above the weight range of 300 pounds. Murray believes this will result in a reduction of clean up that ensues from passers-by glancing and at the fat bulging around the edges of the flip flops.
Some are coming out in opposition to the bill saying the local restaurants will suffer because so many will need to eat food to replenish all that was lost from the unsightly flip flop sighting. Murray remains firm the bill will remain in place for this summer and possibly following summers.
About the Author
Brent Bartlett Jr. III is the son of Brent Bartlett Jr. II. He was born in Anacortes, WA, and had a completely normal life growing up. He went to the Evergreen State College where he graduated. Since the Evergreen State College doesn't assess grades or provide any sort of success measurements, we simply assumed he was qualified enough to represent his home towns and surrounding areas. You can find Brent walking around somewhere or flying around on his Unicycle - something only those from Seattle or Portland would understand entirely.
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