Biden Says US will follow ISIS to the Gates of Hell
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By Brent Bartlett Jr. III
September 4, 2014
NEW HAMPSIRE - Joe Biden has harsh words for yet another beheading taken place by ISIS. This is the second beheading of a media reporter and that has the administration outraged. Obama asked Biden to go out and be a grouchy asshole like he is to make the Administration look like less like 'a group of pussies that let all other countries shit on them'.
What's worse for the Democrats is this is the second media reporter that has been beheaded. Democrats typically have a stronghold on media outlets with the exception of the baby eaters at Fox News. If the Administration doesn't do something to stop this the media outlets may turn on the Democrats and begin supporting Independent or Republican candidates.
Obama has released the following statement to the press to ensure they don't go switching parties on him, "Hey guys don't worry - were doing stuff to stop this - especially now that two media members have been beheaded. Didn't you hear Biden? He said to the gates of hell! Them are harsh words. Not to mention what we have been snap chatting to the terrorists. I snapped them a picture of my balls and then wrote on it in red 'suck these'. Take that terrorists!"
The Administration is confident no more members of the press will be killed in dangerous places around the world. The Administration has also announced if one more press member is beheaded this will be a reason for them to go to war. They are already ramping up troops in Bagdad and will continue to send in more troops to make sure the press knows they are protected.