Utilizing a New Defense Strategy Adrian Peterson Will Play this Sunday Against the (0-2) Saints
September 18, 2014
The Minnesota Vikings are now allowing Peterson to play this Sunday after much back and forth on the subject. Peterson is currently awaiting trial in a pending child abuse scandal that involved him hitting his son with sticks, leaving cuts on the 4 year old child's legs. Peterson's new defense will allow him to play this weekend in the matchup against the Saints.
Peterson had the following to say in a press briefing:
"I entirely agree my actions were wrong against my son. You have to ask yourself why would I do this? The reason stems from my heritage. As everyone knows, slave owners used to whip their slaves. This in turn developed it's way into black culture. I wish my ancestors hadn't been whipped causing me to instinctually do this to my child but that just isn't the case."
"We are glad to announce that Peterson will return to the field this Sunday and apologize for what our white ancestors have done to the black community. We have suspended our only real white player for his ancestors actions. Our punter is white too but his ancestors will probably a bunch of fags that didn't own slaves so he is okay to play."